Are you who you once were?

I look back on old videos, pictures, and recordings of myself and really begin to envy my old self. I realize there was a time when I was completely who I wanted to be, and I look back on that girl and I love her, and I want to hug her, and I don’t know if that’s strange, but I think it’s really because I feel like I don’t know her anymore. I was once so vibrant, and so pure, and so myself, and now I never come out with the things I want to say or do because of the times I have been shut down, or ridiculed. But I wish so badly, I could go back to who I was, and not be stuck in a world where the only things that matter is how funny my snap chats are, or how good I look in my Instagram pictures. Do you ever wonder about how different you would be if you didn’t let other peoples judgments change who you are whether it be your thoughts, your hair, your style, or your personality? Maybe I would be a little more like the little girl I was, if I wasn’t so worried about being someone else, but now that it has been such a long time, I feel like there is no going back. But there is looking back… to a time I could entertain myself, a time I could accept myself, and a time I could be who I was, and now I just feel like that side of me has been cut and shaped down to this ideal image of what everyone else is, and willing to accept. I was such a beautiful, fun-loving, full of laughter person. I would come out with the funniest things to do and say. I spent time with people who mattered because that’s what I wanted to do, that’s what I liked to do, and that’s what I chose to do. But now my interests have changed. So what am I now? I cant help but feel like the cute little me is no longer apart of me, and it’s not a good feeling to feel like I lost her, and I lost myself along the years.

 

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Dad and Carly Cook 3

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How do I gain a piece of me back?

 

COPYRIGHT: CARLY RISTUCCIA
THIS WORK IS LICENSED UNDER ACREATIVE COMMONS ATTRIBUTION 4.0 INTERNATIONAL LICENSE
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13 Comments Add yours

  1. omar161922 says:

    You gained a piece of you back just by blogging about it. Great read!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey I think you’re right! Thanks so much for the comment and I’m glad you enjoyed ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  2. gapawa says:

    Thought provoking post. The past is dead and gone and the future has not yet arrived, so why not be who you want to be right now! Just never mind the haters and you’ll be golden๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ˜„

    Liked by 2 people

    1. that’s a great point…thank you so much for your advice ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Wildersoul says:

    While there is life, there is hope. It is possible to change, we have free will, and it can take some hard work. No, I am not who I once was. I have changed and grown. I have healed from wounds inflicted by this world we live in, and learned how to “walk” again. The pieces of me I loved the most, I picked them up and I treasure them now. Be the you that you want to be… It is well worth the effort. Wishing you Love, Peace, and Joy, and a Free Spirit.

    Like

    1. thank you very much for that wonderfully written feedback

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Fitnesspal says:

    Can you share my blog and write about it in my blog I would appreciate your help and nice work

    Like

  5. I’m convinced that our strange relationship with time cripples our ability to know who we are right now. You’re still you and always will be, no matter how much you might try to be someone else. Keep being you. That’s the easy part. The hard part (for some of us) is living with ourselves.

    Like

    1. you’re right, and my heart breaks for people that REALLY cant live with themselves…I have these feelings every now and then but it’s not something I struggle with everyday

      Like

  6. ron877 says:

    So……. the struggle to go forward, to develop, to feel good about oneself, is actually a struggle to go back?

    I think I am getting a headache.

    Like

    1. yeah, I mean I think to get where your going, you need to accept where you’ve been ya know?

      Like

  7. Tanja says:

    great post! we grow up and we loose that childishness sadly.

    Like

    1. exactly, I’ve learned to just kind of accept it and keep moving forward ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

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